Soooo...we finally have a date. When is this glorious event happening? July 20th. And how do I feel about it? Well that's kinda tough...
While I'm thrilled that this is finally definitely happening, I'm frustrated and disappointed with how late this is. I was supposed to get surgery before June ended to allow me ample time to heal before going back to school. I came back from school on May 20th. Plans were put on hold and others were dropped before they started. All in the name of "we don't know when this is going to happen." Family vacations? Out. Plans to go see friends from school? Out. Job? Out. And all of this because I couldn't plan ANYTHING too far into the future as I just didn't know if I'd be able to keep it. So now I've sat home for 2 months doing nothing because of this stupid surgery. And now that I finally have a date it's near the end of July! Over a month after I should have had it. Now I'll have just 5 weeks of healing before I go back. And I can't lie - I'm furious about it. My entire summer vacation has been ruined by this waiting game.
I know I can look at this in the light of "well now I have 13 days to do anything I want," but it's hard to be happy about 13 days when I've spent 60 sitting home on my arse. Now there's no chance of a family vacation after surgery like we'd hoped. We had planned on having this done by the end of June, and then after about 7 weeks, near the end of August, we'd take a family vacation to Canada. I could just go on and on about why this date invokes anger and sadness, but honestly I don't want to bore all of my amazing readers.
And another thing that bothers me? My mother for some reason doesn't seem to understand that having the jaws wired shut post surgery is not only standard, but almost universal. She just called me to say "Dr A said he might not have to wire it shut..." This bugs me soooo much! The idea of going into surgery, having things broken, moved, and bolted only to have my jaw left to dangle open like an idiot? This strikes me as ludicrous and dangerous. How on earth can I feel secure in my healing when I'm afraid of having things knocked out of place and ruining everything that was done. Not to mention I've already eaten like there's no tomorrow to put on weight so that I won't look so sickly thin after the post surgery weight loss. What do you want me to do with that extra weight now? I don't like how my body looks but I've done it so that I can be healthy post surgery and not waste away to nothing. Now? I'm stuck with this extra blubber that god only knows I'll never be able to drop.
Overall while I'm glad to finally have a date I'm less than pleased about everything else. Sorry for the whining, but I figured if anyone would understand it would be all of you out in jaw surgery land.
My jaw was only banded shut, and I was lucky that everything lined up so well and I only had two little bands on. I was able to open my mouth immediately after surgery, although it was only a little bit. I never have had more than 2 bands. And don't worry one bit about dropping the weight, it really does fall off after surgery. I lost 12 pounds in like a week and a half, even when I was eating as much as I could! I know you must be frustrated with your surgery date, but once it's over you will be so glad you did it. I feel like my surgery ruined my last ever college summer vacation too. I was unable to get an internship and spent the first month pretty much just in recovery mode, not really in the mood to hang out with friends or do a whole lot. I wasn't able to get a second job so I was stuck just working one part time job, which really isn't enough when I am trying to afford living in Minneapolis. I am totally with you on that one, and I hope that even though it probably has ruined your summer, you will enjoy the next 13 days as much as possible. Go out for mexican food and eat a ton of tortilla chips! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, Nora! We are only a day apart for our surgeries. I'm happy for you. After all this waiting, finally your big day is right around the corner. I guessed keeping my fingers crossed worked, after all. :-) Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dani. It's good to know that someone understands the frustration of the situation. Jaw surgery takes up so much time even before it happens, and some people don't realize that. And you can bet that I have been (and will continue to) making an effort to enjoy all of my favorite foods while I can.
ReplyDeleteAnd Cece - wow! I missed the edit to your date about it not being on the 14th but on the 19th. Maybe some higher power made me wait so that I'm not alone. All that finger crossing worked for us in the end. Less than 2 weeks and we'll be on the other side! :D
Nora, We have the exact same problem! I had cancelled all plans, and I can't make any future plans either. Here's the kicker, my date isn't even set yet. I'm glad you're getting yours in the 2nd to last week of July, I can only dream they accomplish a miracle for me to have my surgery around then as well.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, Niki
Nikki,
ReplyDeleteI know it stinks. I blew off everything. Never made plans. Didn't celebrate my own birthday with friends. I've basically been a recluse. All because I just never knew when. And while I'm glad to have a date, there is definitely some bitterness to it. I hope that you, too, can at least get a date with which to be frustrated. In the end I know it will be worth it, but right now it's still so frustrating.